Why do we enjoy what we enjoy and how do we know it? Societal norms? Listening to friends and family? Experience? Intuition? Listening to our bodies?
All of these contribute to our sense of enjoyment. Does one come with pre-programed preferences or is our enjoyment learned through societal conditioning and experience? Certainly our mothers’ preferences while we were in the womb influenced us, and is there something more? Past life preferences? A true core of gnosis that is tied to our consciousness that transcends this life(and previous ones)?
These are huge questions that don’t have an obvious answer that we can point to with our current systems of knowledge. Accepting that these could be possibilities is important as it allows us to continue explore ourselves and our world.
For the moment, I will focus on some of the other areas from which we learn our enjoyment.
Societal norms play a large, if not oversized role in the development of our enjoyment. From birth we are conditioned by our societies as to what is enjoyable, partly based on availability but also our parents’ and families’ societal conditioning. Following social norms does help us feel part of the whole and feeds our need for belonging, it also comes with the possibility of shame and exclusion. If our desires don’t line up with that of the heard, we may be shunned. Avoiding pain helps shape desire and enjoyment. While helpful in some ways, following societal norms for enjoyment means our voice can be drowned out by the voice of the many.
When we are new in this world, we simply operate on what our bodies tell us, which creates initial preferences. Despite being influenced by family and society, during our infancy and early childhood we still listen to our bodies for direction as to what is good and enjoyable. Its only as we age that society plays a broader role, particularly during teenage years when the desire to belong is the strongest.
The other area where we form our idea of enjoyment is experience. Hopefully, throughout our lives we continue to have new experiences that add to our sense of what we enjoy and what we don’t. As we age we have to actively seek out new experience, else we stay in a static state in a normal lives. We must also revisit old experiences, to check in and make sure old preferences are still true. I have certainly outgrown some preferences over the years, and discovered other that I didn’t care for initially now speak to me deeply.
This leads me to intuition. At various points we have all experienced a “gut feeling” or sensation that pushes us toward something. Whether we follow that feeling is another matter, but we all have these experiences. What is this? I believe intuition and gut feelings are simply our bodies’ trying to communicate with us. We live so much of our lives in our heads, trying to fit in with society, keep up with the Joneses, and be cool that we ignore our bodies. Certainly if you’re chasing cool and your body wants something that is deemed uncool, than your mind is going to try to override your body and go for the cool. This continuous state of override is the source of dissatisfaction and dis-ease.
We have learned to ignore our bodies and intuition, which is a damn shame. As I have continued down this path of Energetic Wine, I am re-learning how to listen to my body about what feels good and gives me enjoyment Reengaging with my body has been an amazing gift and provides tremendous enjoyment and pleasure in both big and small areas of my life. Now that I have been reawakened I can’t imagine going back. Listening to society tell me what I enjoy versus hearing my own truth and following it is no longer an option. As I discover what I truly enjoy instead of listening to the noise, I find deeper appreciation and joy in my life. My body feels better, my mind is clearer, I feel less stress in my life, and my overall well being is much higher than when I try to fit it.
I’m not saying to throw away everything society has taught you, simply check in with yourself to make sure you truly enjoy it. If something doesn’t bring you pleasure and enjoyment, its time to let it go and find what truly resonates with you.
Energetic Wine is not just about wine, it is a path back to yourself. An opportunity to explore what nourishes your body and soul without the oppressive voice of family or society dictating what you should enjoy.